The Bottom Shelf

The Hell Plaza Oktoberfest 8!

October 31, 2014 - 6:00 am   |   by
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Where does the time go?

One day, you’re just a young lad picking up your first kitchen knife, learning to sew gloves with blades on them or masks made out of human flesh, maybe drowning in your favorite camp’s lake. The next thing you know, years have gone past. You’ve stabbed, chopped and otherwise mutilated so many horny teenagers that the act itself has lost all meaning. You almost start to look forward to being doused with gasoline and set ablaze, just to break the monotony.  [Read on here...]

But even if the chainsaw’s getting rusty and the bloom has gone off the blood-spatter, there’s always one place you can go to relive your glory days. Yes, those old home movies of yesteryear, capturing you in your prime, back when slaughtering a bunch of innocent people really meant something. And remember all your old friends who helped shoot those movies? There was little Johnny Carpenter, Wes “The Mess” Craven, and that weird kid Tobe from Texas. Good times with good pals.

I’ve got a surprise for you. A lot of those old Super 8, 16mm and 35mm Panavision home movies have been transferred to Blu-ray! I know, crazy, right? What do you say we take a stroll down memory lane and check some of them out, huh? I brought popcorn and candy corn… and Kleenex in case it gets a little emotional. Don’t worry, it’s all right to cry.

Memories... Light the corners of my mind... Misty water-colored memories of…

hellplaza8 columnpage


Each weekday all this month, I’ll have another title to report on for you. So click on the links below to start diving into the case... if you dare!

- Dr. Adam Jahnke


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